disrupting the bystander

We were not prepared for #metoo when it blew up Twitter in October 2017. In many ways, we still aren't. What do we do when we learn a friend has been harmed? And what does it mean to be a good friend when someone we love caused the harm?

We live in a society that confines survivors to silence. Our only avenues to address harm do little to prevent its recurrence. Trapped within a binary of silence or punishment, it's no wonder so many of us remain frozen in place even as the disclosures continue. Punishment requires both certainty and authority, which most bystanders lack. But once the silence has been broken, we can't return to it. Few of us are strangers to the nagging feeling that arises within that paralysis. We intuit—correctly—that we have some kind of responsibility when harm happens in our communities, but what is it? And if we have responsibility, do we have rights?

Combining behavioral neuroscience and insights from those on the frontlines of harm intervention, Disrupting the Bystander helps us break out of paralysis so that we can best support those we love—whether they were hurt or hurt someone else.

”A.V. Flox effectively and empathically interweaves personal experiences with a deep intuitive understanding of how the nervous system adaptively shifts bodily states.”
— Stephen W. Porges, PhD, Distinguished University Scientist and Founding Director of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium in the Kinsey Institute, Indiana University and professor of psychiatry at the University of North Carolina